Debra Kunz

Let’s say you met a man with serious potential to be The One though the thought of including dates with him in your schedule is mind boggling. He could be thinking the same thing. Like you, he had a life before he met you too.

You decide to give it a shot. After all, he’s the only one you’ve met in a long time that captured your interest.

After a while, it might seem like you’re dating his calendar and not actually dating him. You communicate mostly by text message and the occasional email, though rarely an actual phone call. Who has time for that you’re both thinking. You do see each other once every couple weeks, and it’s not because you are a great distance away from each other since your homes are only ten miles apart.

You start asking yourself, is this a relationship? The short answer is yes. It’s the one you and he have accepted. Does it have to be that way? It could depend upon each of your life circumstances. Your first reaction might be the overwhelming nature of the kids’ schedules, the ex’s cooperation (or lack of) with the kids’ schedules, your work schedule, plus getting everything else done necessary to life. Could be he’s thinking the same thing.

So what are you going to do?

There are no rules about this. Just acceptance of where you are in your life, where he is in his, and if you want the same things from each other.

If you only make time for something casual, and you are both on the same page about that, then enjoy it for what it is. Just be careful you aren’t trying to convince yourself it’s enough for you if it isn’t.

If he’s a man you want in your life, then despite your crazy calendar and responsibilities, make room in your life for him, not just your calendar. The only way to do that is to make your relationship a priority.

Think about it this way – if this mania scheduling and rarely seeing each other is how your dating relationship works, what’s going to change when you are more serious about each other, or even get married someday? Figure out how to date each other, and not be so focused on your schedules.

I know, easier said than done.

Date Deliberately,

Debra